I was really enjoying the small success I was having. Then K came around and I am having a more difficult time staying on task. When he is in town I have impulses to want to be with him all the time. Which is how I get off task. He makes love with me like there's no tomorrow and I don't want to do anything at all.
I use more medication than when I'm alone, and make love slow and relaxed, so all I want to do is sink deeper and deeper into myself while opening more fully and completely to him.
Nevertheless, I have success. I have fulfilled all my daily requirements every day since Saturday. I am prioritizing completing them, telling myself this is about my survival, which it is. I cannot allow myself to get suicidal. It's absolutely essential that I nurture the elements of my life that make it worth living. And that includes making love with K.
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